Nihilo

Want to be everything

But know that I am nothing

Settle to mean anything

But focus just on being something

Learn that overcoming obstacles

Is more than just conquering fears

And know that these intersecting moments

Are more than the passing of the years

Constellations of experience

Dot the night with a life well lived

Making that life is not just accumulation

But the remembrance of what you give

Marinate the Dead in Coffee

Marinate the dead in coffee

The living in champagne

So many things to do today

So better numb the brain

Stoke the fires all till nightfall

Then wrap a blanket round your mind

It takes a while for dreamland

But you haven't got the time

Here's a toast to sleeping

A toast to keeping awake

It doesn't matter which pill you're taking

If you know what pill to take

Marinate the dead in coffee

The living in champagne

Help pull this coffin lid off me

I'm dying from the strain

What are you looking for?

Life is confusing

I feel lost in it sometimes

Waking from a dream

Not understanding where I rise

But you made all the sense to me

From when I grew to know

That you who were my wife to be

Would have so much to show

And forgetful though I was

As I wandered through this life

You'd ask what I was looking for

As I poked around inside

The contents of our cupboards

Or the topics in my head

Spectres chasing throughout the day

Or thoughts while I lay awake in bed

You were always there to remind me

Or at the least to keep me sane

Helping me stay to a single path

Against the wilderness inside my brain

The steps turned into dancing

The dancing went on for miles

Whether paying bills or romancing

Our faces wrinkled with our smiles

For I had you and you had me

And every time we'd head for the door

You'd see my mind go wandering

And ask what I was looking for

Then this perplexing world took you from me

As usual I did not understand why

Why there's so much involved in burying a spouse

Or why the world let me see you die

You were the heart and soul of this home

You made this house into a fortress of our love

And I get lost sometimes within these walls

And forget what I was thinking of

Misty eyed I stare into the window

Met with my reflection while I stare outside

Being met with both the echoes

From which I wish to run and hide

I still think I hear you on occasion

While gathering my notes from off the floor

As I get lost now and again

I hear your echo asking what I'm looking for

I feel your spirit in this house

Even as your touch ebbs and wanes with time

For what made this place a home now gone

And now it's just a resting place of mine

I'm very glad that you've found rest

As I ready to go outside this door

But I'd give the next breath from my chest

To hear you ask me what I'm looking for

Failure

When every attempt
Feels like a failure
Waiting to happen

When every accomplish
Feels like another step
In a war of attrition

When you're not sure if
'I did my best'
Is good or bad

In the end...
It just...
Is

For all that's wasted
Is the half hearted effort
The timid reach
The meager attempt
The unaimed throw

For the partial endeavors
Are ever doomed to defeat

But every time we push ourselves
And give everything we have

Even if we are burned in our flight
We got that much closer to the sun
This time around.

I Think I Am

::And I don't want, and I don't want
To keep myself from moving on

anyways
I know how too many tough times
Can ruin the day from good ways
Will I get to move on soon?
(I try to stay in tune

well, with what's happening)
I think I can, I think I can, I think I...::

“Am...

Something.

Nothing.

Anything.

Possibly creating,

My own me,

My only

Possibility,

Of Something,

Nothing,

The blank canvass

From where I breathe

So I may perceive

Anything, that can be

Can be me

My only

My own me

Withholding

Nothing

Existing

Persisting

In the possibility...

Reading

Slide my fingers down your spine

Hold your sides and pull you close

Just you and me and candlelight

Intimate in our repose

A glass of wine and you tonight

Devour you as the wax drips low

Deep within you in the fading light

And so much more I want to know

Trace my hands along your lines

As the world fades away, us lost in time

Cherishing each touch and turn

This passion for more inside of me burns

My eyes travel over all that you show

As the rest of me follows, much further we go

Dreaming...

Yearning...

Pleading...

...reading

I Am a Dream

I am a Dream that learned that it was human
That I ache, get sick and bleed
And I have to struggle to survive in this place
But it cannot give me what I need
I want to return to the land of Dreaming
Full of hope and color and creative light
I feel the distant echo in my keening
Or when I hold myself together at night
I get lost sometimes in crowds and quiet
The concrete sea of humanity in which I roam
In dull blinking lights we tick by life
I'm in this place, but it's not my home
I return in slumber to familiar floating
From place to place, adventure to adventure
And with screaming day I lay here clinging
With tear streaked face that I can't sleep forever

Little Scars

The tattered tales of the endless broken

So proud of our scars

From wounds we didn't earn

Our empty facade, lamenting our torments

Rattle the cage and peer through the bars

Not seeing the lessons we still haven't learned

Those who wail the loudest

Are those who have never felt pain

A scrape feels like death to a child

To the veteran deep wounds happen time and again

Those who wail the loudest

Often have the least to say

But when the silent share their whispers

The realization my change your way

So bask in youth at the altar of self

Aggrandize and bleed

Pain no one can know

Then stand and wipe the dust from the shelf

The day you no longer need

The pomp and the show

Bring Back My Friend

Bring my old friend back to me

I haven’t seen them in a while

I long to share those memories

Hear them laugh and see them smile

I wish my old friend back to me

I haven’t seen them since you’ve arrived

A piece missing from my family

Like a part of me has died

Please bring my friend back to me

To hold them close I’d travel far

Of them you’re just the parody

And I no longer know who you are