My Baby Girl

 Every tender moment, I’ve experienced, or thought I knew

Coalesced and distilled, into the shape my heart holds for you

Every swelling in my chest, that makes me so happy I could cry

I behold in your little smile when you look me in the eye

And holding you is completion, this little angel entrusted to me

To arm with love, knowledge and strength, to face your destiny

I wish this could be forever, this innocent joy of mine

That I could hold you close and love you, from now till the end of time

I never knew it would feel like this

To be so happy that it hurts

To introduce you to this life

To a whole new world of firsts

Your little hand around my finger

Like my heart wrapped around yours

Every fiber of my being

Focused on how much I adore

Every moment you are with me

And how I never really knew

How full my life would be

The moment I held you

Lessons From Stan Lee

 Few Lessons from Stan.

From Peter Parker, I learned that with great power comes great responsibility. But that power can also feel small against the evils of the world. Spiderman often faces opponents more powerful than him in some way, and fights to overcome this. We all have abilities, things within our power, it may seem small against the onslaught of awful from the world around us, but we can never give up fighting.

From Matt Murdock, I learned that we do not have to let our limitations define us. We do not have to let the hardships or our lives keep us from doing great things. And that we do not have to let the evils around us dissuade us from what we know to be right.

From Bobby Drake I learned how important it is to keep your sense of humor, even when things are tough and going wrong.

From Warrant Worthington III, I learned that life can sometimes change, drastically and awfully. That we can feel like we’re going to die, and might wish we did. But when we come through the other side, we will be stronger than we ever imagined possible.

From Sue Storm, I learned that we don’t always have to be seen for our presence to be felt.

From Mastermind, I learned to not always trust the way things appear.

From Nick Fury, I learned that there are shades of gray in this world we don’t understand when we’re young, and difficult decisions to make in order to accomplish our goals.

From Bruce Banner, I learned that our rage can consume us if we let it, and actions taken in that anger can destroy everything around us. That even though a Hulk might manifest within us in reaction to the injustices we endure and perceive, we need to check in with the Bruce Banner within us and find a more logical way to work through things, rather than lash out in anger.

From Stephen Strange, I learned that although one path may end, our lives our not over. This was something that I needed in 2013 when I felt abandoned, alone, and that my lifelong dream had dried up and died. But even though one journey may end, it does not mean that we cannot find a new path, learn a new skill and discover a new purpose. Seriously Stan, thank you so much for this one.

What We Didn't Know We Lost

 Ever have a friend or relative that you lost track of for years, only to find out that they passed away? It's an odd feeling. I don't know if there's really any such thing as closure in human life, but you still feel like something was lost. Like you wished you could have found or connected with them again...

Just putting those thoughts into cadence here.

I never got to see you

Once more before you left forever

One thing that I’ve learned is true

Is life is as uncertain as the weather

They say that death is not the end

And each end brings us to something new

But I wanted to talk with you again

And now that’s something that I’ll never do

I don’t know why you were away so long

Or what you even did while you were there

And I’ll never know now that you’re gone

I won’t waste my breath to say this ain’t fair

I’m sad for all the time we lost

Chapters in each other’s lives we never read

Despite wishes, summer always turns to frost

And I’ll never get more gold from this lead

For I never got to see you

Once more before you left forever

And one thing that I’ve learned is true

Is life is as uncertain as the weather

~ Gideon Hodge

Reliving the Past, Reimagining the Future

 Matt Murdock: "I'd take that back if I could."

Sister Maggie: "If God allowed that, there'd be no future. Just people endlessly re-mending the past."

This bit of dialogue shook me. I, like most people, have chunks of my past I wish I might have done differently. I've mapped it out in my head at times, how I could change things, knowing what I know now.

This line of thinking can leave us feeling trapped however, that we are constantly looking back on what you didn't do right, or what evils were done to us. And we might have every reason to do so. There's no harm in mourning, it helps us move on.

But that second part is key. Moving on. Moving forward.

We take what we learn from our mistakes, from our past injuries, from the mistakes of those around us, and if we can find the focus and the wisdom, we will make different choices and be better tomorrow than we were yesterday.

But in that one line, Sister Maggie jarred these endless reflections and what ifs inside me with the idea of this endless loop of trying to fix things only to have other things go wrong that I did not foresee. Then going back to mend or change those. Then seeing other ways, new ways I could change what's already happened.

But I'd never be moving forward. Just like I am when I dwell in the past.

And like the traveler in Pilgrim's Progress, I felt this huge weight roll from on top of me. I suddenly felt free of all of those endless looks backwards, because that's not my life. That's not my future. 

My destiny lies before me, using the lessons of the past to forge something greater to come. And it is that for all of you.

That burden of the mistakes and hurts of yesterday do not have to be this endless dwelling place where we become mired in the what ifs, the "If I'd only done this", and I say this being one of the worst offenders.

Hopefully this realization, and this thought that this loop of regret and change of the past, seeing it for the endless circle going no where that it is. Hopefully this takes some weight off your chest too.

Thank you for reading.

~Gideon Hodge