Weeping Circles

It's no surprise to realize so many have lost their way

In the myriad paths and twisting turns that lead us to today

Perhaps the confusion or lack of choice

Leads us into this maze

I hear you whisper beyond stone walls

We really cannot call that choice

And as I try to maneuver these endless halls

I'm lead further from your voice

And we stumble, lost, like we're broken

Move forward but blinded by all this haze

Unhearing to the words once spoken

Reminding us of better days

Words flitting through my mind

In a symphony you will never hear

My heart strings play the requiem

Of everything I hold dear

And with this death and ageless passing

My soul atones and takes its lashing

Is Dante's fourth circle where I am lain

Wanting more than I could attain

The second circle brought us together

But the first I'm left when we are severed

And wandering in this boundless nowhere

Grey mists stretch to the vast horizon

And I know you're out there, searching somewhere

But it hurts too much to carry on

When this ends will I ascend to Heaven

Or be a tree in circle seven?

Will I one day see you again?

Or will the cycle finally end?

Twisting Mirror

In this hall of mirrors

I can't say why

The world can twist

In the blink of an eye

The foundations we stand on

Immutable seeming

Fall sudden beneath us

We fall like we're dreaming

No way of knowing

What the next turn may bring

The part we play showing

Hiding the sting

All the shadows around us

Divided we fall

Conflicted within

Not certain at all

The nightshade and absynthe

That flows through our veins

Blurring our vision

But won't dull the pain

And betrayal's a poison we choke but won't swallow

The tears welling up as the patterns dissolve

Leaving the soul aching, our insides so hollow

Trapped in the orbit where spirits revolve

In the stillness thereafter when it's only our echo

The world stops moving and breath seems to cease

Through the pain in these moments find the us that we know

And in letting go of the past we find our release

Two Roads Diverge

Two roads diverged in a familiar wood

And over time I slowly understood

That two paths would lead to two more from here

And question everything that I held dear

Or reaffirm, depending on the path I take

The path while dreaming

The path awake

And none are traveled

It's only me

Fate cross hairs with destiny

All these paths I'll never know

Save the one I choose to go

And it winds and turns, which way I steer

Uncertain what exactly brought me here

And I puzzle out the path I chose

What may have been? Nobody knows

But this path is fine, for ill or good

And it's high time I understood

That the risk and glory are mine alone

No holy light on my road is shone

Only careful trotting til I choose my way

And look upon here some distant day

How to choose

So many ways

To bring us to

Our coming days

Might I weigh and balance

Somber choose

Or act in haste

Lest I lose?

In preparation, despite how long

There's really no right or wrong

Just what is true to us and those we adore

To do right by all, and maybe more

Perhaps leave a token behind

A piece of ourselves lost in time

A benchmark here, for what we believed.

By which our legacy may be perceived

What You Mean To Me

In the steady creeping pace of day to day

So much that we forget to say

And for the moments, fleeting be

Let me tell you what you mean to me

The ripples that travel through my soul

That you placed there, from what you show

Make me today who I am

You've helped me be a better man

From a laugh we have or evenings late

Or the work we both procrastinate

In the jokes that only we may share

Or simply knowing that you care

With the Muse I wait breathless for your song

Fey given glamour from your mind

And it's been within you all along

Just leave your doubt and fear behind

These moments on which our hearts thrive

The essence you feel down at your core

The spirit your voice has given life

Or that greeting we've each been waiting for

Every story you'll ever tell

and every laugh you'll ever share

and that single life that you might change forever

By sharing that someday with them somewhere

From the mundane to the divine

Whether we've shared moments or we've shared years

Whether epic journey or just spending time

I cherish every smile and every tear

There is so much greatness within you

It's why I've chose to call you friend

Remembering all we've been through

That I've taken this chance to pen

I could write on and on and not repeat

Of the daily contributions that you make

And the moments we've shared in my mind so sweet

You've made this a life to celebrate

Thank you.

Where Are You? Where you Find Me?

Where are you right now?

Are you where you want to be?
Where am I right now?

In this place, can you see me?

World of dichotomy

It's staring right at me

Falling down on top of me

But you don't even know my name

But you know me, because you know your truth

Daily seeking proof

Of legitimacy, are you authentic or spoof?

Stare right down into your soul

Where two halves try to be whole

And you're staring at yourself through mirror

That's never getting clearer

The cracks at the edges, bleed into the center

But it's all still coming together

Ask the questions of the answers your afraid to know

Afraid to go

Where your thoughts fall low

But those doubts fall wide of who you are

Building strength from scars

Reaching from dirt to stars

Just hum a few bars

Of your inner cadence

Your spirit's surveillance

You lost yourself from afar

On your personal radar

You'll stare at yourself

And I will see you there

In the cross hairs

Of all the possibilities

And destinies

If you could just believe

This is who you can be

Dig deep, pull through the torrent

Wrench your heart through these tears

It'll hurt for the moment

But you've been aching for years

All your trials build the sum

While the swinging pendulum

Add the clicks of who you are

To etch your name in the stars

And I'm there, in the silence

Between the break down and the chorus

Where indecision cripples you

From the things you always want to do

You weep for dreams unspoken

Falter like your knees are broken

And hurts too much to stand

While you're doing all you can

To keep your head above the tide

Fight so hard to stay alive

Just want to breathe and let it be

But all life comes with misery

Where are you right now?

Are you where you want to be?
Where am I right now?

In this place, can you see me?

Will you carve the path you've chosen

While your dreams are scared and frozen

You can be miserable and aching

In any path your taking

So if this life will bring you pain

Then let your fire give you the strain

Every path is full of thorns

You've known this since you were born

And there is no going home

It will feel so all alone

So grip that fire deep inside

Choose to stay alive

Fight for the soul to survive

Release the beast that's in your mind

You'll always be hungry, always sore

From the punches life has in store

But you'll ask for even more

If you take the path you swore

To that child years ago

The person that you know

That child was supposed to be

In the adult the mirror sees

So don't take the path in vain

Don't shy away from this pain

And know

That where you go

Is where you will be born again

Did You?

Hey, did you

Wake up to

Find you're not who you thought you should be?
Did you at last

Look at the past

Several years to think of who you would be?
Does the present match the image that you'd stamped

Inside your mind?

Or does there seem to be omitting something that

You may have left behind?

The problem is that in our dreaming

We don't factor obstacles into the fantasy

We also forget what's real or seeming

In the weighing of our destiny

Sometimes we forget to count the torments

And disasters we've braved to get this far

But the battle and gain are both important

For it's the culmination of who we are

Art By Committee

The new art teacher, one Miss Heather

Assigned a project to bring the whole class together

Where each student gave their own input as bade

To then unveil what the whole class had made

So they whirled and curved, a kaleidoscope atlas

Where every color available was strewn on the canvas

They attacked the blank spaces with passion and glee

With chuckles and flourish, an artistic frenzy

Shapes soon took form; seas, mountains and skies

And by the end of the day they could scarce believe their eyes

Miss Heather mounted the portrait upon the wall

So it could be seen quite easily by all

Smiles lit the room left to right, one by one

The whole class beaming at what they had done

They chatted and pointed at their effort and care

Upon this single artwork which they all now shared

There was joy, there was pride, there was mirth in the air

From the exhilaration of creation, even greater when shared

Then Miss Heather looked toward the class

And said “What do you say?

You've accomplished so fast

Quite a bit today”

And the class nodded, pleased with this show

Til one hand arose, from the very back row

“The colors makes a rainbow, it could associate the piece as gay

And it might offends gays who don't wish to be portrayed that way.”

Miss Heather was taken aback by these words indeed

And looked to the class to see who else disagreed

There were murmurs and whispers, then a casual assent

Then the rainbow was deemed unworthy, so off it went

The piece seemed less bright as the classroom now gazed

Then attention was turned as a second hand raised.

“Red is the color of anger and blood,

It's hurtful to any who have suffer'ed”

And so it was decided that red be removed

Then another hand rose with this shifting mood

“Blue is the color of sadness, a common confession

It could cause misery to any who have suffered depression”

And on Miss Heather went with this tedious chore
Each plaintiff emboldened by the guff left before

And so it continued, each color stripped one by one

Til the last of the tasteful edits were done

They had snipped here and there with precision and care

To let all know they were quite socially aware

At last Miss Rose hung the canvas back on the wall

And the class was perplexed by what they then saw

Incredulous stood a student named Hank.

“Miss Heather, what is this? That canvas is blank!”

Miss Heather was quiet as she gathered her words

Then stood to be sure that each word was heard

“These were the changes you all chose to make

I edited art for everyone's sake

This attempt to comply with opinions, et al

Leaves us with a canvas showing nothing at all

Art once pushed boundaries, shook us up, caused a stir.

Then the public decided which voices should be heard.

“Then those boundaries ebbed and slowly receded
As each new worry and complaint were then heeded

Art became pandering, so no damage be done

For you'd be judged and ostracized for offending someone

“And here we are later, all tip toes; never heeding a call

Which leaves the blank page we see here on the wall”

The class all grew silent. Miss Heather did too.

She set down her chalk and with naught else to do

She stood from her chair, gathered her books from the floor

And with a wan smile, she walked toward the door

“We won't meet tomorrow. My last lesson is this.

I've no more to teach you. Class is dismissed.”

Intro

I savor the quiet at the break of day

While I lay in bed, but still awake

Meandering within my brain

Deciding which path to take

Then the bombardment of the pleasantries

Sights and sounds in cacophony

In the nodding sea of humanity

Sometimes it's just too much for me

These endless waves crash upon my mind

Disorient me til I think I'm lost in time

I blink and look, the spinning spoke

Where my mind was before you broke

My train of thought, the track now bent

Reality pulled on my tether

If you'll give me just a moment

To try and bring my thoughts together

I take a breath, close my eyes

And hope that the world will realize

This juxtaposition causes pain

The vacillations with all their strain

My heart races as my psyche wants to flee

Like the world is pressing on every side of me

I just need the quiet, a moment's solace

A trice for my soul to rest

So bothersome to acquire in the steady day to day

So I remember to keep breathing whilst I try to find a way

I didn't mean to awake here

This confusing and constant where I've been hurled

So I ask you to bear with me

As I am bearing with this world

Torrent

I am one

Amidst the roar of the Heavens

As the tears of the gods pour down

Torrent rushes through me

Sparks come alive as the lightning

Reflects in my eyes

The pounding of ancient drums

Deep in my ears

Thunders in my chest

Echoes from the skies

And I cry out to the gods

So they know I hear them

And remember

As the drops fall to the ground

Off the curves of my face

I breathe in their strength

Their magic, in me

The Heavens, the ancients

And I

Are one

In this moment

All becomes clear

And the static fades away

I know

I understand

I am one

Two Paths, Anew

Two roads diverged in a familiar wood

And over time I slowly understood

That two paths would lead to two more from here

And question everything that I held dear

Or reaffirm, depending on the path I take

The path while dreaming

The path awake

And none are traveled

It's only me

Fate cross hairs with destiny

All these paths I'll never know

Save the one I choose to go

And it winds and turns, which way I steer

Uncertain what exactly brought me here

And I puzzle out the path I chose

What may have been? Nobody knows

But this path is fine, for ill or good

And it's high time I understood

That the risk and glory are mine alone

No holy light on my road is shone

Only careful trodding til I choose my way

And look upon here some distant day

How to choose

So many ways

To bring us to

Our coming days

Might I weigh and balance

Somber choose

Or act in haste

Lest I lose?

In preparation, despite how long

There's really no right or wrong

Just what is true to us and those we adore

To do right by all, and maybe more

Perhaps leave a token behind

A piece of ourselves lost in time

A benchmark here, for what we believed.

By which our legacy may be perceived

Seeking

In the quest for love, we deny our reason

Cast wide our nets and hope for gold

In our search for joy, we wander aimless

Enjoy the moment, but forget the road

In our search for joy and love behind every curtain

We're seeking a something, we know not what

One day we'll find it, we're almost certain

Like running a maze with our eyes shut

In our waking moments from yesterday's dream

As imaginary worlds do recede

I look and see you there beside me

And know I have all that I need

Should?

Some part of me is dreaming

Am I wide awake inside?

Somewhere in the dark I’m screaming

Nowhere to confide

This little break of isolation

Lost out in the crowd

In my soul the incantation

I can’t speak aloud

There’s so many times I’ve wanted to

Say what’s in my heart

This churning, raging, misbehaving

Yearning, burning spark

What I know inside so contrary

To everything I see

Makes me question so simply

What is reality?

And the echoes rattle in my head

Falling back to fitful sleep

Was there something more I should have said

In these secrets that I keep?

Opinion

Words are a venom that will demonize

Haunting the footsteps of those who enable

Themselves to take the path to immortalize

Those whispers through this world

Captivate, to expose the lies

Freedom in oppression

Thoughts are unstable

Religion isn't here to immortalize

It's to push away the world

Old gods are replaced where we itemize

Opinion is doctrine, don't speak so wise

Facts hold no place here anymore

What we believe is what should exist

And where we disagree so soon should perish

There's no more room for discussion

Hate rules the day

As we spit venom guised as progress

Thoughts shatter deeper, intrude into your lives

You've no right to live if we don't decree it so

So much hatred for the other side

Who used to do what we do now...

Waking... blurring...

Wake like the dead
World is blurry
Fumble at my clothes
Like a teenager on prom night
Screech of my alarm
Lurches me to semi-conscious
But still not complete
No rest, no relief

The world is vague, annoying haze
Invading with 'necessities' as I try to remember dreams

As I stare in darkness
I find my salvation
Shadow and heat
Poured into me


Bitter...

Hot...

....coffee.

Sometimes

Sometimes we smile when we are broken

Sometimes we sigh when there’s no words

Sometimes we pretend cuz there’s no time to

Explain how bad it hurts

Sometimes we just keep on going

Because we know we stop then we’ll just die

And we may ask but there’s no knowing

Until the moment’s eye to eye

So please don’t ask me for answers

When the question still hangs right in the air

And I didn’t see this coming

But it doesn’t mean that I don’t care

Sometimes I don’t know how to

Deal with a punch in the gut from life

And just because I didn’t confide to you

Doesn’t mean I didn’t try

Sometimes I just collect my thoughts at rest

Sometimes I’m exhausted from the tears

Sometimes the pinching in my chest

Reminds me I’m still here

Sometimes I don’t know where to go

I just pick a direction and move

And there will always be answers that I don’t know

But there’s nothing left to prove

Sometimes I let people down

Sometimes I’ll get lost in the night

So for now I’ll reflect on all I’ve found

Take a breath to set it right

I’ll move from here when I find my feet

Grateful for the chance

And all the love and memories

I’ve gained in life’s dance

Sometimes I don’t know what to say

Sometimes I just crave a hush

Sometimes life will paint our pain

With violent strokes of the brush

So I take a breath to process now

And look at where I’ve been

And stand slowly to keep my knees steady

Till I fall down again

Silver Sprocket

Sifting through the swelling mass of clutter
I pull a cog and gear that catch my eye
Afix the pieces to the motor
Give the ignition another try
Ease the throttle to journey onward
Waist deep in debris and muck
For all the eagerness these widgets are pressed upon me
I frankly could not give a buck
I see their potential uses
But must say they're not quite right for me
If these contraptions bear utility
For you, that's fine, but let me be
Here I find a silver sprocket
Or a brass pinion under grommets buried miles deep
Amidst a million tarnished gears and levers
Only one or two I wish to keep
And simply because I don't accept your pinion
Does not mean I denounce it's value to you
It's just that if your gadget fulfills a need
Doesn't mean I need it too

Tapestry

Sunlight filters through a patchwork roof
From this room I've always felt
Like I can see the world
From the north window winding rivers and streams
That twist and travel behind the hills and the trees
I imagine what creatures may live there
Where the winding paths may lead
But I am in this tower, and I can not go that way

To the west, majestic mountains
Sun drenched evening red
On the crags that stretch on forever
Could I climb those peaks
What would I see from the top
Or on the way up?
But I may never know
For I am in this tower, and I can not go that way

To the east is the sea
Blue with no bottom
An endless receding horizon
Could I sail those seas till I found land?
Could I explore those depths until I
Discovered something new
and I try to stop imagining
Because I am in this tower, and I can not go that way

And to the south are the sands
A bright blue sky over shifting ground
Where I could be lost forever
Find the oasis, and live out my days in paradise
And perhaps some passing caravan would find me
Years after I had passed, and read the journal I had left
And I would live forever
But forever is so far away
I am in this tower, and I can not go that way

Between the windows, stand book cases
That are always full
Of books about these places where I have never been
And I may never be to
For I am in this tower, and I think that I am forced to stay

But here in this tower, I can see it all
And though I have not been, it is still here with me
And in this tower I can learn what I may never see
But is it enough to know, or must we sometimes be?
But I am still in this tower, and from here I can not say

Early one morning I awoke
So restless from my dreams
I looked upon my four windows
To see these familiar things
Unchanged as from the last day
North and West and South and East
Each different in their own way
But it could not bring me peace

A rent in the fabric
Ignorant fabric had been
The backdrop for my scenery
For all I had thought I'd seen

I placed my hands inside the tear
With some fear I pulled it wide
And for the first I beheld
What the tapestry meant to hide

A moving shifting landscape
With a life all of its own
An ocean beyond the hills
And a road dotted with homes
A lake beneath my window
Creatures moving through the trees
And birds flying through air
Flower beds alive with bees

I sat down to collect myself
For I could not believe
Years of what I thought I knew
Such an elegant deceive
A world alive beyond these walls
That I did not know to be
My body shaking, the time had come
To set my spirit free
I ran forth and cast myself into
The water just outside my door
Embracing life and all things new
I'd be held captive here no more

I struggled to the shore
Of lands where I had never been
Over my shoulder, one look back
At where it did begin
I could have left when e're I wanted
I was not ready yet
The lesson of knowing that I don't know
I shall ne'er forget

Little Scars

The tattered tales of the endless broken

So proud of our scars

From wounds we didn't earn

Our empty facade, lamenting our torments

Rattle the cage and peer through the bars

Not seeing the lessons we still haven't learned

Those who wail the loudest

Are those who have never felt pain

A scrape feels like death to a child

To the veteran deep wounds happen time and again

Those who wail the loudest

Often have the least to say

But when the silent share their whispers

The realization my change your way

So bask in youth at the altar of self

Aggrandize and bleed

Pain no one can know

Then stand and wipe the dust from the shelf

The day you no longer need

The pomp and the show

Pearl

Some dreams are nightmares in sheep's clothing


 Better left untouched, unrealized
Because we may not know that what we wish for
Would make us run and hide

Sometimes we gain then fear so much to lose
That we lose the joy that we sought to attain
And in that moment we have to choose
Whether the acquisition was really gain