Don't Make me Love You

 You can tempt me, you can tease me

You can vex me, you can please me

Just don't make me love you.

The mischief in your smile

The fire in yours

Caught up in your wile

Ignoring all your lies

I know the danger

But throw caution to the wind

To touch and to taste her

The redemption found in sin

One day will we twain

Crossing burning bridges to chapters yet written

Amidst pleasure and pain

I wander yet onward, not thinking clearly while smitten

Till then, let's dance

Steps set the floor ablaze

Onward in romance

Hangover, continue on in a daze

Like Lucifer Falling

In the tangible places within the heart

Scars can calcify or soul laid bare

Every journey will end and have its start

With or without your there

I'd looked into the eyes of Heaven

And wept for the beauty that shined on me

I cradled close this living angel

Dared to hope for eternity

Yet we all can stumble at our worst of times

When we feel there's nothing right that we can do

And like Lucifer I fell from the skies

For that's the moment I lost you

When the world felt like it would slip away

The axis turned and darkness enclosed

The truth of falling's awful pain

Is that you survived and you still know

Heaven continues, but without you

Damnation, the torment that never ends

Hell that we fear, I've learned this true

It's knowing you'll never see that light again

Shimmering Waters

Shimmering waters, constant upkeep

Either side of grounds maintained

Rain or shine, I lose no sleep

Each day's challenge, meant for gain

Of knowledge or opportunity

No mind has immunity

From stress or distraction

But I find my satisfaction

Fielding all the turbulence

Aces on the other side

Murphy's Law is true but it's

Perception and won't break my stride.

Borealis

You take away my breath at night
Sharing time in that lonely light
Two of a kind though we're different suits
You fell into me and I into you
Nothing much we both could do
Wishing we'd had the chance to see it through...

I'm staring at these Northern lights
As I lay awake at night
The stars are falling
I hear you calling
Baby...
Maybe...
We'll win this fight

A message, a call, a come on over
A laugh, a cry, a leaning shoulder
We're lovers and friends
We share and we send
Such pieces of us and we will til the end.

But right now the night gets cold
The sky grows dim cuz you aren't here to hold...

It was all drawn up wrong though it felt so right
But Magic happens at the most random times
Arm in arm and eye to eye
The rest of the world just blurs right by

But the sun will rise as your lights fade away
As I open my eyes to a brand new day
Such moments fleeting
But our hearts still beating
When our hands intertwine, I know we're okay

Clock Repairman

We never know all the lives we may touch
All the ripples that we may cause
Hearts that would break if we were broken
Difference we would see if we took pause
Stepped outside ourselves for just a moment
See the intricate web which we belong
All the 'I love you's never spoken
Or saying how we've felt all along

If your clock is ever breaking
Hold me close so I can feel you ticking
If some part of you is endless aching
Sit with me, I won't be picking
At your problems or their causes
Decisions that may have lead you here
I just don't want you counted amongst the losses
I'll stay as long as you'll keep me near

If the other side becomes your longing
Hold my hand so you don't fall
I don't want to see you hurting
But I won't let go til we gave our all

Depression

Wake up sick again

Tired and aching from the inside out

Eyes and heart heavy

My head space clouded with doubt

Spend so much time trying

Just to reason out

Why on the inside I’m dying

From pain I can’t seem to live without

A chain reaction I don’t understand

That clenches in my chest

Pulls tight to my shaking hands

Till I cannot draw breath

Ribs tighten beneath these chains

Drug down to the ocean floor

Despite all my gains

I know I’ve been here before

I pull against the confines

That strangle, I’m slowly suffocating

Sometimes I just can’t describe

The feel of constantly aching

And I’m not looking for sympathy

Just an end to this pain

I’m tired of hurting. Burning.

Deep in my empathy

Is why I try time and again

To keep others from hurting.

Because I know how deep you might suffer

So I chase your demons away

Because it gives me a moment to forget my own.

For that moment you are my buffer

That let’s me pretend that I’m okay

Because the world does need to hear me suffer today.

But when the mask finally cracks

And I can no longer stand

When I cry in your arms is when I feel like home.

This parasite lives inside me

Tried so many times to cut it loose

Every laugh and smile is a moment of freedom

From the shackles this demon has woven

Through every fiber of my being.

And when those barbs constrict in my chest

Tears fall forth, because I can no longer hold back

So when you ask why I’m sad

I say I don’t know.

But I’m not sad.

I’m depressed.

And this is the difference.

Succubus

There's an enchantment stirring, deep in her eyes

A building yearning we both realize

Shadows caress her, cold and alone

Reaching for solace til skin breaks bone

Edges illumine, leaving focus for such

I've learned enough to fall madly

Though I haven't learned much

Sirens' distant calling

I hear naught but her voice

Forward I'm falling

But not by my choice

In longing I stumble

In passion embraced

Broken and humble

Sweet coppery taste

Her claws rake my skin

Teeth drag cross my flesh

I've forsaken Heaven

Seduced by sweet Death

Drops of crimson fall onto the floor

I look up in horror. I've been here before

Her finger, my lips

Sealed silent by breath

Requesting my soul

Offered freely in death

Edges now blurring

She licks blood from her hand

World now swirling

I soon understand

I'm now fated to fade

My desire, her power

Sweet damsel charade

In her luring dark tower

Sated she smiles

Whilst my vision goes black

I've succumbed to her wiles

And there's no going back

Pendulum Echo

I whisper through the swinging pendulums

Hoping you'll hear me on the other side

Thoughts about my day, confessions of love

Even if you can't hear them, if you're still alive

These notes in a bottle echo off these distant walls

Recollection of shadows, and the pain they have caused

Of all I am guilty, you still smile at me

As I lay here wilting, victim of my own disease

I sing to the silence that wraps all around

My essence, defiance, to the laws that abound

Of goodness and justice, in the end there's just me

Of the life that I'm living versus who I should be

I cradled your fingers through bars colder than ice

My tears stain your skin, heart constricts in the vice

Of all my remorse and the loss leading here

Loneliness, doubt, confusion and fear

My shoulders they shudder as I think of you gone

Even with you beside me, I know it won't be long

Til the seasons shift wind blows you so much further afar

I'd hold you til the end if I could reach through these bars

Holding me fast, pin my chest to the ground

Each breath growing harsher, dwindling sound

The increasing pain as my eyes well with despair

I cry out your name, hoping you hear me somewhere

If I Had Known

If I had known this was the last time I'd hold you
Would I have ever let you go?
So much more I'd wanted to show you.
So much more you'll never know.

If I had known it was the last time I'd sleep next to you
Would I have ever opened up my eyes?
Reach toward the emptiness beside me.
Sighing as I realize.

That nothing's certain but this moment
And we'll never get back today
For all that I've been withholding
I'm going to have to find a way
To not take the sunrise for granted
For it might rise again without you there
And tho life gets so demanding
I need to remind you that I care

If I had known this was the last time I'd see you
How hard would I fight not to blink?
If I'd have known how close we were to through
Could I have changed what you might think?

Nothing's certain but this moment
And we'll never get back today
For all that I've been withholding
I'm going to have to find a way
To not take the sunrise for granted
For it might rise again without you there
And tho life gets so demanding
I need to remind you that I care


But it's what I do and what I've done
To connect to or love some one
And as these moments slip through time
What did I do to make each one mine?

Fissures

A fissure in my mind

Where reality and dream divide

Between all the happenstance beside

The distance of the dream

I am fraying at the edges

Unravel at the center too

For all my fissures come undone

When I think of you

All the unspoken promises

That lay behind your eyes

Could fill this yawning chasm

That separates our lives

Introspective I am staring

Weak within I'm falling

Wish I wasn't caring

Inward I'm still calling

Hoping for a miracle

Help that will never come

Praying for the oracle

To foresee the dream of some

Thing deep within me, forever stirring

Lost within for collapsing skies

All these lessons, still I'm learning

To rend the truth from all the lies

A million fabrications

Creating a reality too unreal

For amidst all these fornications

What's left is what they cannot feel

I am fraying at the edges

Unravel at the center too

For all my fissures come undone

When I think of you

Company Tonight

There’s this moment when I see you

When my chest constricts and I’m short of breath

My mouth goes dry and I don’t know what to say

My eyes water and I want to scream.

I want to scream because I hurt

I want to scream it isn’t fair

I want to scream because I miss you

I want to scream cuz I still care

I look in your eyes, and I see home no longer mine

I look at your neck and think of my fingers on your spine

I look at your hands, and think of how we’re ‘just friends’

I look at your shoulders and think that I’ll never hold you again

I just want to hate you

And have all of this go away

Alone in the night

And not with you in the day

My solace and comfort

Now so far away

I’ve tried so hard to sort

But there’s nothing left to say

Words can’t change, and time can’t heal

It feels so strange, it can’t be real

Like the world ended yesterday

And I’ve been left to wander

Like Fate took you away

And all I can do is ponder

Wondering why, is this my

Cadence to play again?

This dancing back and forth

Is driving me insane

The chords change out

And dissonant fade

I wonder if this was all a charade

Did you care enough to try

Did you want to believe?

Or was it all a lie?

And I fell for the deceive.

Questions with no answers.

Wrongs with no rights in sight.

And the drumming of my fingers

And the memories that linger

To keep me company tonight.

Pagliacci

Radio static receding

The announcement made that magic is gone

Something constricts, our hearts bleeding

All of us wondering what went so wrong

What will our world be like tomorrow?

Will our tears remind us why we live?

Relive the joy of your memory in our sorrow

And measure the impact by how much you give

Silence of dissipating laughter

Pinching pain inside our chest

Everything that did or didn’t matter

Set aside when we’re laid to rest

Oh Captain, my Captain

So oft our solace and inspiration

You were my Captain

Helped me push forward in contemplation

Of why we strive for these professions we take

Push forward while told our dreams will never come true

It was your belief that made you great

And as that brilliance touched us, we believed we could too

That light will continue to burn in our hearts

And lift our souls farther than where we are

Will grow in brilliance as we try, fail, repeat

Learn and grow mighty with each challenge we meet

Thank you, my Captain

Rest now, after your battle hard fought

I salute you dear friend

May your ship take you to the peace you have sought

Lay With Me

Brought to heights like Icarus
To fall as only Satan knows
To have danced in the courts of Dionysus
And tread where Persephone's garden grows
Light and dark, so oft the same
Another rose, a different name
We pick our cards and play the game
We want the choices but not the blame
We fear the loss just like the gain
Live for the pleasure and the pain



Just don't pretend you never knew
When this dance is finally through
We grab our coats and bid adieu
And it ends like these things often do



And one day when the memories are faded
We've forgotten why we walked away
The celluloid in our minds degraded
All we have then is what may
Or may not have happened had this or that
Become tomorrow and that next day
Found us arm in arm, and all that matt-
ered was the interwining
The rune stones of our own divining
All came back to decisions made
How the sheets turned down in these beds we've made

Commotio Magna

She is all I want

She is all I see

When I close my eyes in memory

I feel like I can't breathe

Between the here and now

And the winds of destiny

Is so close and yet somehow

It simply wasn't meant to be

In the wings of heaven

I reach for you and you touch me

Amidst clouds and smoke

We act out our symphony

If I had faith back then

Would I be alone again

Or would our souls intertwine...

Regret is such a private hell

Am I the angel that fell

Or do I love a lie?

This shaking sickness that flows through me

Takes me to the floor through buckled knees

Cough through the sobs, cry til I choke

I still can't believe

That any loving God could take you away from me

Together at the altar, alone at your grave

And I count the days til I see you again

Like moments loaded into the pistol

Shot my life away

Every drunk and broken dream

Dissipates with the light of day

And you're gone again

As the cold sets in

I cling only to the memories

Wanting

I want to be alone

I want to run away

I want to die in your arms someday

I want to be your friend

I want to make you smile

I want to be your only one

If just for a while

Heirophage (Grey Staircases)

Amidst the spiral staircase

Ever onward up and down

Looking glasses come face to face

But I can't describe what I've found

Through the endless jagged hallways

Worn smooth by all my pacing

The difference between now and always

Memory versus mind's erasing

I whisper to once more hear my voice

I choke back sobs when I can't contend

I scream into this void of choice

Of lunacy where I pretend

Raw and broken I stumble sideways

And fall right through another dream

Knees weak I stand to find the pathways

Beneath the Styx and Stygian stream

And Lethe cannot my soul allay

I don't remember, but still repent

Still I mourn some random day

What hasn't passed from me yet

In this maze I endless wander

Wondering what will it take

To no longer have my heart pine yonder

At last this nomad's soul forsake