Struggling,
falling in my pain
Of
all that I could not contain
Choking
deep, can't catch my breath
In
my whispers I ask for death
Sit
in the filth of my own creation
Scream
to God for an explanation
Why
this torment never ceases
Why
he left out so many pieces
That
could at last have made me whole
These
tattered shards I call my soul
These
saddest rays
That
cleanse my eyes
Of
hope and pride
Commiserate
with me
This
crippled waltz
Vaguely
resembling
What
we always believed that love could be
And
no one can see these tears as I drown
All
the better
Never
wanted sympathy
Just
an end to the agony
Splayed
with pain so deep
That
I can not separate
Between
it and me
Myself
and the disease
All
these questions that have no answers
Deep
down I know I am the cancer
That
killed all chance of hope and love
And
life
The
bitter taste of regret
Of
lost chances and failed dreams
As
my world is rent right at the seams
And
I fall
Too
weak to stand
And
broken fingers can't hold a hand
And
a singed throat that tastes nothing
But
in my feast of ashes
What
flavor is lost upon me anyway?
You
came to me in weakness
And
I lent you my strength
Yet
when I fell with broken knees
There
was naught you gave
Would
you kill us both
To
prove your point?
If
so, than put the gun to my head
And
do me first
For
I have tasted all the worst
And
all I look forward to is
Oblivion
Had
I fallen wayward
I
could blame myself
But
blame myself I do
For
all the fingers point back at me
But
hearts still beat and
People
still smile
As
my own pulse slows
And
my countenance disgusts me
I
don't know why I hold on
But
I have been told it is worth it
That
things will get better
That
I won't feel this way forever
But
I have already felt this pain
Deeper
and longer than
Anything
in my past
A
past rife with pain and sadness
And
in a symphony of melancholy
This
is the crecendo
Where
do I go from here?
I
was always honest with you
Perhaps
to a fault
My
fault, I realize
That's
the way it is
When love takes time
And
we think before we decide
We
are left to the sidelines
Of
those who don't care for
Themselves
or for others
When
we do what we can
With
what we are given
Some
people are born under
Lucky
stars, and timing greets
Them
with open arms
But
for the rest of us
Those
that time and fortune
Do
not smile on
Those
who are scorned
For
the difficulty of their
Own
hearts
Those
from the outside
That
can't understand
Or
don't believe
Or
won't receive
Our
cries for help
And
forgiveness
But
there is another
Side
to this
A
side that we could not
Reach,
but I side we know
A
piece that we can put
Back
together
If
ever given that chance
But
severed from that one desire
That
one hope
That
which means more to us
Than
life itself
And
so deeply denied
And
the onlookers that don't understand
Why
a road can make us cry
Or
conversations inside we die
And
those on the outside
They
don't know, or care
Or
try, or understand
They
walk away, angry
And
defeated
Not
knowing what they left behind
Never
having given the time
To
make a difference
Of
indifference
Of
knowing what layed beneath a soul
Pinned
beneath forces of nature
And
chemicals, and circumstance
And
this and that, and whatever
And
no one remembers
The
way it really happened
Only
their opinion mixed with emotion
Of
how they felt but never spoke
And
let go of rather than try
Rather
than believe
In
those eyes looking right
Back
at them, and into a heart
That
closed itself
And
refused to open
And
two crash into the darkness
And
neither knows how to heal
Without
the other
But
they will never know
The
promise of tomorrow
The
possibilty of change
The
strength of hope
They
will never know
They
will never know
